More than a year ago Vision Forum Ministries launched the National Center for Family Integrated Churches and sponsored our first national conference for Uniting Church and Family. The results were phenomenal. Several things were accomplished: First, a confessional statement was submitted as a summary of the issues and a platform for building unity between church and home. It was widely accepted and met with approbation. Second, hundreds of church leaders committed to working within their local churches for a more Christ-centered, family friendly model of worship and church life. Third, since the conference, scores of church plants have begun with the goal of establishing biblically constituted local churches that complement, rather than undermine, the Christian household.

But once a vision is cast, the real work begins. It is one thing to dream great dreams for Christ; it is another to make ourselves willing vessels of the Lord to accomplish these goals. Vision requires hard work, long-term commitment, and a persevering spirit. Along the way mistakes will be made. The godly man stumbles six times, but rises seven. So too, we must not quit because attempts to unite church and home are imperfect. Nor do we have the luxury of allowing every personal preference which is not appeased to be the basis for severing our relationship with those who stand with us in this great cause. There are ten thousand road obstacles to accomplishing a godly vision, but true leadership requires an indefatigueable willingness to work for a righteous cause to the end.

Having said this, I am amazed at the number of people who quickly give up on a vision when the first micro controversy arises, or when their feelings get hurt over issues of personal preference. Some actually masque a spirit of rebellion under theological verbiage aimed at justifying their unwillingness to commit themselves to others or to be personally accountable within a local body. In fact, many dear believers would rather wander in the valley of indecision and unaccountability for years at a time than risk the challenges associated with commitment.

In my view, we can no longer afford to act and think as children. The need of the day is for maturity. This means making tough choices, and acting on them. It means working through problems, not simply quitting every time a problem arises. It means being a problem solver, not just a complainer. It means recognizing that the grass is not always greener elsewhere.

Three Things Which Happen To Your Children When You Refuse to Yoke Yourselves to a Local Church and Attend its Weekly Meeting

We must acknowledge that there are times and seasons in which godly people find themselves in a genuine wilderness with no visible witness of the Church of Jesus Christ in terms of a doctrinally sound, biblically constituted, faithful assembly. In such cases there are two options: Move to a place where there is such a church or start a church work. Not an option is to remain indefinitely in a state of unaccountability and limbo. Meeting in your home with your family over an extended period of time with no intent to establish a biblically constituted church with government, discipline, sacraments, and exposition of the Word does not count as an attempt to start a church. It does not constitute obedience to the command to “not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

While I recognize that there will always be unusual exceptions to this rule (stuck on a desert island, medical crisis situation, overseas in a Muslim land, etc.), we must assume that there is something unruly and disobedient about believers who simply forsake the assembling of themselves together with some local church for months at a time. Nor is it acceptable to refuse all accountability, where there is a faithful assemblage of believers in your proximity, merely because you fine tune issues differently from them. You have a choice—-join, move, or form. Like the local church, none of these choices is perfect. Each carries elements of challenge and danger. Moreover, the best choices usually require the most work, commitment, and flexibility on your part. Whatever you do, there will be a price to pay. Everything great comes at a price. But what must be firmly and categorically emphasized is that God has not given Christians the option of not yoking to a church, of not attending the meeting of the local church, and of not having accountability within the context of a biblical body.

We must count the cost of disobedience. Sometimes the same ability to critically evaluate truth leaves Christians with a critical spirit. Such believers often find that no one is holy enough or “right” enough to justify joining in fellowship. I oppose the many errors of doctrinal ecumenism, but I equally oppose the isolationism of doctrinal absolutists. Apart from the fact that this attitude shows an historic ignorance for the trials and tribulations of the New Testament church itself, the attitude is just plain rebellious.

Home educators especially must be honest with themselves: If, in their godly and biblical desire to have family friendly churches, they reject for months at a time the meeting of the local church while waiting for God to “solve their problem,” or if they simply refuse for years at a time to formally yoke themselves to an imperfect but godly local assembly, they are teaching their children at least three serious errors:

1. Such parents teach their children that the law of God is optional. It must be obeyed only when the circumstances are convenient.
   2. Such parents teach their children to have a low view of the local church specifically, and question legitimate authority in general, because of their lackadaisical or openly hostile perspective towards the local church.
   3. To the extent that such parents hop from circumstance to circumstance, they are teaching their children to be quitters and preparing them for a pattern of discontentedness.

All of this to make a simple point: Press on for the cause of Christ. Don’t be a quitter. Take your commitment to building godly local churches seriously. Be willing to work hard so that your grandchildren will benefit from the sacrifices you are making today. Do not simply criticize your brothers in the cause, provide viable solutions and then work to implement them. Be patient with your brothers. Love the brethren. Don’t ask what your local church can do for you, but what you can do for your local church

Afterword:
For more information on unity between church and home, please consider attending our fall Regional Conference for Uniting Church and Family on October 17, in Michigan. Visit www.visionforum.org