How do I keep an energetic, noisy 2-1/2 year old in the church service with me? So far, I have kept her with me for the music time, but when the preaching is happening, it seems too disruptive...how do you do this? — Dianne

Diane, Thanks for such a practical question. I want to encourage you that your goal is very attainable. We have seen a row of 10 children in a family ages 1 to 15 sit quietly and still through a 2 hour church meeting with just occasional potty breaks. Every family is different and every child is different, but I would offer the following tips that have proven helpful to my family and others for keeping verbal and active toddlers in the meeting of the church and helping them grow in self control:

First, set high (biblical though realistic) standards for your child’s behavior. Be consistent in your daily discipline, requiring the child to obey the first time. Make sure to follow the biblical admonitions to apply the rod for both passive (internal rebellion) and active (external rebellion) disobedience.

Second, practice sitting still and quiet during daily family worship, increasing it slightly each day. Families that train their children during daily family worship are usually quite successful with their children during the meeting of the church. I would also add that your family worship should be spiritually and intellectually elevating to the child. Small children are capable of receiving more than you realize. Yes, they should be exposed to real bible readings (and not raised on a diet of comic book Christianity or mere nursery stories) from their earliest days. This means reading them Genesis to Revelation from a trustworthy translation.

Third, out of consideration and respect for the rest of the assembly, sit near the back of the meeting house if you are in the early stages of training your children. If your children are disruptive, make sure to step outside, discipline your child and gain control of the situation, before re-entering the meeting.

Fourth, it has been the practice of my wife and me to try to use creative means for assisting a young child in keeping their attention on the worship service and message. For example, I will often hold the hymnal or Psalter and underline the words we are singing with my finger. I know they can not read, but I am training them to develop the practice of following the music even from an early age. Also, during the preaching of the word, Beall or I might draw symbols on a piece of paper that parallel the message being delivered. For example, when Jesus is described as the Lamb of God, we might draw a lamb, etc. This holds their attention, but keeps the focus on the message. After the meeting of the church we may quiz them using the sheet of paper.

Fifth, it is crucial that you prepare your children before walking into the meeting of the church. I would mention the following components of a thorough preparation. First, look to the needs of their bodies. Make sure they have enjoyed a good night sleep in preparation for the Sabbath. In the morning, see that they are well fed. Second, prepare their minds for worship from the moment they wake by talking about the importance of the meeting of the church. Third, prepare their hearts for worship before arriving at church through prayer and song, perhaps on the car ride to church. Create a spirit of joyful expectation to be in God’s house. Finally, clearly articulate your goals for them before walking into church. Let them know that there will be consequences for disobedience. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Children will often take advantage of parents if they think the parent is too embarrassed to follow-through with discipline in a public setting. To counter this natural tendency on the part of children to push the envelope, I sometimes place a small rod inside my coat jacket and make sure that my precious children know that it is there and ready for action if duty calls.

My own goal is to reach the point with each child that I can follow the biblical admonition of guiding them with my eyes. Like you, I am on a journey and need to daily ask the Lord for help to be a more consistent and faithful parent. Some days I experience great victory — Other days, less so. But I am committed to the long run journey and view the training of my children as part of my life mission. Through thick and thin I absolutely delight in my children.

These are just suggestions and observations. Please let me commend you for bringing your children to the presence of Christ in worship rather then dropping them off with strangers in sickness-transmitting, discipleship-abdicating day care centers called nurseries. It is a blessing and a joy that a child would grow up never knowing a time when he was not exposed to the worship of God and the beautiful songs of Zion. We live in a world that craves convenience and efficiency over relationships. Those parents who take seriously their duty to train up their children “in the way they should go” deserve the heartfelt gratitude of the entire Body of Christ.